I don’t like valentines. I never did. Perhaps something has to do with the fact that it is just a day prior to my birthday, but there are other things I dislike about it.
I think Valentine’s day is stupid, dangerous, arrogant, and inherently unloving in its principle. Let me explain why I think this.
You see, when you think about it, what valentine’s day tells us is that we value love on only one day in the year, that we really need to, as society or individuals, be loving at least, or rather only, one day a year; everything else is redundant. I’m not saying that this is wholesomely true, just that that is what people in this day-and-age act like. If you don’t believe me think about it. When are we expected to be loving to the person whom we say we love? Generally speaking when freshly in love, when engaged, married and on Valentine’s day. That’s it. Sure there is an expectation to be civilized and to “be there” but come on, how much does one in this day-and-age care about that? Alas, we don’t even know what love really means anymore.
Then another aspect of Valentine’s that’s dangerous is when children are seeing all of that, including romanticized images of how perfect crushes are on the screen (TV or youtube for that matter). What happens is, that for at least one day in a year one is expected to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend no matter the age. That’s dangerous because it creates an objectified image of relationship as well as that other person. The other person becomes an object, because “one wants it,” because “one sees it everywhere one looks,” because “thence one expects everyone to have one.” It’s like an iPhone phenomenon (or cellphone even): “I want one because everyone else has one or at least that’s how it seems like; those who don’t are weird and just odd, don’t fit in.” Therefore, those who are because of various reasons unable to “have” a boyfriend or a girlfriend, think of themselves as unworthy, unloved, undesired, etc., even if that is not true (they most likely are loved, cared for etc. by their parents and family). Here I’m not talking just about children. You see, children grow up and can easily become emotional wrecks or even something way more dangerous than that.
Remember that 20-something who posted a video sometime last year about killing blondes because he’s still a virgin? Or other killings related to people who had distorted views of relationships and probably never experienced a reciprocated relationship at all, much less a romantic encounter? I’m not saying that all of that ties in to Valentine’s day, but the latter does bring out the reality of things on a grander scale, if one only dares to look. You see, no matter how abhorrent the acts of killers, there is a greater number of people, especially men, who are hurt because for their entire lives they were shown and told lies, picturesque romantic scenery of what it means to have a girlfriend, and furthermore probably have distorted views of sexuality as well, not just because of porn problem, which is a different issue altogether, but also because of lowered expectations that have arisen since the advent of “sexual revolution”, need I not even mention the sexual education that is ever so prevalent in Slovene National Education scheme and abhorrently condemnable for various reasons that also deserve a longer comment.
Another thing that I also find abhorrent and detestable as to how sexualized the commercial world has used Valentine’s to sell not only products, but also a previously mentioned distorted view of reality, especially of sexuality.
If you perhaps ask, what we should do instead of valentines, let me propose, that we should love each other all year long, and not only the spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. As Our Lord says, we ought to Love, our neighbor, each other as ourselves (Mark 13,31).
Alas, unfortunately Valentines is here to stay. I will however remain opposed to it. I utterly renounce it. I hope more people do the same.